Am I Cheater?

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My friends it happened a long time ago and would like to share with you my feelings, sorrows and wishes. Hope you will give me your feedback. I am happily married, live in the city with my husband yet my sons have not come to this world. My husband works for a company and he has to go to other cities for company business. Whenever he goes on a business tour, I stay alone in the house. The 1st and 2nd time I was scared of being alone but after that accepted the reality and stayed home without any worries. But 2 years ago when my husband left for a business tour and I went to bed as usual and went into a sound sleep. But in the middle of the night I felt someone in bed and his hands were caressing my body First I thought it was my husband but soon I remembered he was not in town. I got scared and tried to push him away but he caught my hands and climbed on me. I recognized him, I knew this guy since we moved to town. I always felt lust in his eyes for me and hated him. I never talked to him or made any kind of contact with him or family (Parents) He was just neighbor about 30 years old and that night he held me in his strong arms I tried to escape but he was really strong young guy. I was wearing only my nighty. I usually sleep without bra and panty in the night. He gripped my hands in his one hand and sat between my legs, tore my nighty with the other hand. I tried to use my legs to push him away but it was useless. He held his manhood and entered me with force and single thrust. I cried in pain but he put his hand over my mouth. He never spoke a word to me all the time and he started to ram me in and out without any mercy. His manhood was not bigger than my husband but it was fatter than him. I felt a lot of pain because I was not lubricated or ready for this. His strokes were hurting me and after a few minutes he released in me and fell on me, I pushed him away and this time he fell down on the floor. I was not in my senses and kept lying there in bed naked saying no word to him. He stood up, took his shorts and left without saying a word. It was a terrible situation for me. I hardly went door to door and locked from inside. Maybe I forgot to lock last night and he got a chance to enter the house. I should call police and report of rape but I thought first call to my husband and it up to him to handle this but I was messed up and wanted to wash me up before call him. I took myself to the bathroom and tried to wash myself. There were a lot of bruises on my whole body. My pussy got hurt and her lips were swollen. I stood under warm water and took shower. Meanwhile, I kept thinking about this incident. I decided to complain against him with his parents and make case in police. I was sitting in the bathtub and the whole story was running in my mind as film. I started to feel a little bit better and kinda like what happened to me. My husband is very kind to me and good in love making too but tonight what happened it was different and it took me to think about differences. My husband is very romantic and in love making he always very caring and kind to me and I always appreciate his behavior but this night it was something else as I came to know a new reality about my needs. I started to think about uninvited guest and his way of love making. I was very mad on him when he did and rape me and was ready to complain against him but now as thought deeply my feeling against him started to change in sympathy. In the past his gazing at me with lustful eyes told me that he may be helpless and he did bad but he has no choice…… I felt a very sweet feeling about the poor guy and touched my pussy which looked very pleased. I felt that tonight I got something which one I missed in my sexual life. I was satisfied and happy with my husband in my bed but always I felt something I needed was missing. Now after this incident I realized that it was an unexpected thrust that I was missing. Yes fellows That his first thrust which I thought tore my pussy`s wall was my need. I touched the lips of my pussy and it felt really very comfortable. In my mind a wave of thinking came that I may get a chance coming night and in future trips of my hubby. I resisted myself and decided to just keep silent and not complain but tried to stay away from him……. But after evening I changed my mind and made sure that door was not locked. I slept even naked, but he did not visit. The next day my hubby came back from his trip….. I did not tell him what happened but I felt very bad cause that night I should not have kept door open for him. Even though he never came back but still I feel that I tried to cheat my husband. Am I a cheater, let me know my friends……… I think cheating is not only when we make love to someone other than our husband / wife but also if we try to get a chance it is also cheating.

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