Wow” works. But the best praise is specific and heartfelt. Just ask the more than 2,000 women we surveyed.
So there you are, lying in bed with a beautiful, naked woman. Before you speak, pounce, or babble incoherently, remember this: Not all compliments are created equal. And any woman gracious enough to bare her glorious body in your presence deserves more than a perfunctory “You’re so hot” between love grunts. If you don’t believe me — the Men’s Health Girl Next Door — listen to the 2,000-plus women we surveyed. “Sometimes words can sound really cheesy and hard to believe,” said one. Actions are more believable: “If he can’t keep his hands off you, I think that’s the biggest compliment, really.”
And here’s another thing: The survey confirmed that many of us have insecurities, and most of us love frequent, enthusiastic compliments. This has been proved conclusively in recent studies in the burgeoning field of relationship psychology. In fact, among the 19 recognized mate-retention tactics, “love and care” is paramount, says Aaron Goetz, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at California State University at Fullerton. “The biggest part of the love-and-care tactic is complimenting your partner’s physical appearance.”
Simple enough, right? Follow these rules to give that beautiful naked woman all the love and care she deserves.
Don’t just say it like you mean it — actually mean it
Evolutionary psychologists have shown that women are programmed to be skeptical of what you say. It’s their way of protecting themselves from manipulative men who don’t want to commit to relationships.
Your move Avoid exaggerating. Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist and the author of Getting the Sex You Want, says the more a compliment is tailored to that specific woman, the more intimate and effective it is. “Use sensory words, like, ‘Your breasts are so soft,’ ‘I love the way you smell,’ ‘I love the sound of your voice,’ ” she says. “The more detailed your praise, the more personal it is to her — it shows her that you derive pleasure from her body, not just from any naked body.”
Our survey Women said they enjoy compliments about their breasts. Some of their favorites: “They fit your body perfectly” (Andrea, 26). “Your nipples are so hot. I’m so turned on when I see them get hard” (Courtney, 29). “They feel so good against my chest” (Sheri, 24).
If she has to ask how she looks, it’s too late
“Compliments lose credibility when they’re paid in response to a statement of insecurity,” says Robin Kowalski, Ph.D., a professor of psychology who studies interpersonal communication at Clemson University. It doesn’t matter how thoroughly you believe she looks off-the-charts sexy in her new satin negligee — if she has to ask, she won’t believe your answer.
Your move Note changes to her appearance: new haircut, different down-there grooming. Her efforts are a common mate-retention tactic, Goetz says. So if she’s been going to the gym, admire her flat belly or strong legs.
Our survey That belly was by far the touchiest subject for women. If there’s any sign of the dreaded “chub,” ignore it. If it’s flat … “Lay your head against it and tell me it’s your favorite place in the world” (Carrie, 25). “Say, ‘Wow, those core workouts have really paid off!’ ” (Dawn, 25).
